Secret Boyfriend
by EmptyDreamer
Summary: Jasper and Rosalie want Bella dead. Alice and Edward are trying to keep her safe. In the midst of the battle love blooms quietly.
1. A Future Worth Fighting For

**Note:**** I own nothing. **

**This story has been in the works for a while but thanks to the Type 2 Error I was unable to post what I had written. Enjoy.**

**{1. A Future Worth Fighting For}**

{Edward}

When I closed my eyes I could see Tyler's van careening towards a frightened and dumbstruck Bella Swan. I could feel her vital organs smash against her bones. Smell the blood pouring out of her open wounds. Hear the cries of the school children as they ran over to investigate the horror that had befallen them. The vision haunted me. Thank God I had prevented it.

My actions that day went considerably unnoticed save for a few who paid close attention. Like my family. Just one second I was by my car and the next I was pulling Bella out of the wreckage. I'll never forget the way she looked up at me. Like I was some heavenly being sent to save her. The gratitude and reverence in her eyes would have been enough to make me cry had my body still been capable of producing tears.

I realized at that moment that the strange pull I'd felt towards this average human girl was much stronger and more complicated then I'd ever expected. Somehow the instinct to protect this frail ball of mush over road the instinct to hide. It over road my self preservation. Let me assure you that that was no easy feat.

So later on, as my family stood in the dining room of our home prepared to do battle against a helpless teenager I wasn't surprised when Alice intervened. I'd known since the accident that she was seeing the future shift drastically however she had not allowed me to access the information as to why.

"We have to take care of this now." Rosalie was demanding. Jasper nodded to the sibling he shared his last name with.

"We can't." Alice stated. "We can't harm her."

"Harm her?" Esme and I both asked in unison. I had been so busy concentrating on Alice that I had missed the ruthlessness in Jasper's thoughts completely.

"She must be eliminated." He stated simply. Rosalie nodded.

I stared at them in disbelief. My jaw popped open, my eyes wide.

"I'm sorry,"Jasper apologized and on some level I knew he meant it. "But I will not have Alice in danger and Bella Swan just became a threat." I tried to argue that this whole thing was my fault. That Bella had taken no active steps against us and therefore it was ludicrous to think that killing her was the only way to solve the problem. Jasper would not budge. He was convinced that the only thing that would make us safe again was silence. Permanent silence.

"If we kill her, Jasper, it would only cast more suspicion our way. Alice has seen no threat in the future. I've heard no questions in the children's thoughts. I just don't see how this is rational."

"Maybe it's not." Jasper shrugged. "But it's what needs to happen." I looked from my brother to my father who stood perfectly still with his chin resting on his closed fist. His eyes cast at the floor. I didn't need him to meet my gaze or speak. His thoughts were clear enough. He didn't want to agree with Jasper. He wanted to share in Alice's enthusiasm and rejoice in the fact that I had possibly met my mate. But he was thinking about Esme and the life we'd worked so hard to create. He didn't want to move again. In a word, he was conflicted.

Esme hated to see her family so upset. It was physically making her ill. Across the table Rosalie was pissed. Pissed at me for exposing us. Pissed that our family was actually debating the issue. And whether she'd like to admit it or not, she was pissed that Bella Swan had caught my attention enough to find her worth saving. Emmett was on my side in the way that he didn't think that Bella was a threat and worth destroying. But he wasn't apposed to the idea if the situation changed.

Standing in the far corner Alice was in mourning. As the debate went on and peoples minds kept changing the future bent and shifted and as it did she saw her friendship with Bella slipping through her fingers. "But she's my friend." She whimpered. Jasper moved to be near his grief stricken wife.

"She's not one of us, Alice." He tried to explain softly.

"But she IS! Or she would be if you'd give her a chance!" Everybody stared at Alice. Jasper stiffened taking on the posture of a well trained soldier. "Please Jasper," Alice begged. "Please, just listen to me. Bella is Edward's mate. They may not relize it yet but they're destined to be together. And Bella and me, we're going to be friends. Real girlfriends. She'll love us. All of us. Just give her a chance to prove that she can handle it. I know that everything will work out. I can see it." Alice stared at Jasper with such desperation in her eyes that I had to fight the urge to go to my knees and beg Jasper myself. In Alice's mind I could see image after image of Bella and I. Holding hands. Touching, kissing, loving. Sometimes we were in my special meadow. A meadow that was destined to be our sacred place. Sometimes we were in her bedroom. Lying in her bed. Our bodies entangled in each other. My heart ached as each image crashed into each other.

"Please, Jasper." I whispered. Unwilling and unable to control my voice. He looked at me then at his wife. I could see his resolve cracking. He could never deny Alice anything. Rosalie huffed as her ally conceded to his wife's request. Alice leaped into Jasper's arms and kissed him silly.

"I'll give her a chance to prove that she isn't malicious." Jasper drawled. "But if I see one sign of the contrary then I will not hesitate to remove her."

"Then we wait." Carlisle declared. Relief washing into his thoughts. "We wait. We reassess the situation and if it's not resolved then we will take action."

"Wait, hold on a second!" Rosalie piped up. "How will we know the situations been resolved? The only people who will know are Edward and Alice and what's to keep them from lying to protect their precious Bella?"

"You think I would put my family in danger?" I gasped. "Do not forget that I've been in this family longer then you have and I've worked hard to build us up to what we are today!"

"I'm saying you're both so love struck you can't see straight!" Rose countered. "We have no way of knowing if your gifts are tainted in this area."

"Then what do you propose we do, Rose?" She shrugged. "I thought so." I turned my attention to the rest of my family. "You guys, you have to believe me that I can keep us safe. If you don't then there's no point in me staying here."

"We believe you, Edward. Please don't go." Esme whined.

"Edward and I will do everything in our power to protect our family." Alice stated. "_Without_ killing her."

Rosalie was unimpressed to say the least but with her arms across her chest she uncrossed her legs and rose from her chair. She took turns glaring at Alice and I before exiting the dinning room for parts unknown. With the main antagonist gone the house grew quiet and quickly each family member went on with their evening.

My evening consisted of watching Bella sleep as it usually did. I used to think of myself as a creep for invading her privacy but tonight I could justify it. Bella needed me now more then ever. I tried to wrap my head around the idea that she was my mate and as my mate I most protect her at all cost. It was an odd feeling, knowing that I wasn't alone anymore. Odd but not unpleasant. I wondered if she would understand the concept. If it would frighten her to know that she was forever tied to a monster.

As I followed the eastern trail I was not surprised when I rounded the corner and saw Alice waiting for me. She looked up from the anthill she was studying and smiled but I could see the stress in her eyes. "You must tell her. Everything. Tonight. It's the only way to keep her from asking questions. It's the only way to keep her safe."

"Jasper really will kill her, then?"

Alice nodded sadly. "Only you can stop him."

"Me?" I sputtered. "The choice isn't mine. It's Bella's. She has the power to expose us."

"But she's already made up her mind. She's decided to accept the truth no matter what it is. However it's the fact that she will dig for the answers to her questions that puts her on a collision course with Jasper. Only you can prevent it by making her understand why her cooperation is so important." Alice's thoughts became sharp and urgent as she spoke the words. I could see Bella's future curiosity echoing through the future. I could see it clashing with Jasper and his militant ideas on how to solve a "problem". Then the vision flipped to Bella and I sitting in my special meadow. It was an image that was so bright and innocent that I would do anything to defend it. Bella and I deserved a chance to have that future.


	2. The Truth of the Matter

**-{2. The Truth of the Matter}-**

As I was about to step out of the forest and into Bella's yard I pulled out my cell phone and dialed her number from memory. True, she'd never actually given it to me. But she had given it to Jessica and I'd overheard. It took two rings for her to answer.

"Hello?" It was a question, not a greeting. She was obviously confused about the odd number.

"Bella," I heard her breath hitch at the sound of my voice. I smiled in spite of myself. "I have to talk to you. It's important."

"Ohh... Okay." She stammered. "Let me just hang up with my mom."

"No. That won't work. I have to talk to you in person. I'm coming up."

The panic in her voice was plain. "But my dad!"

"Don't worry about your father. I won't wake him." I snapped closed the phone before she could protest and nimbly climbed the tree to her second story window. Without making a sound I opened the plane of glass and slipped inside. Bella sat on her bed in stunned silence. She clutched a pillow to her chest with one hand and held a cell phone to her ear with another. Without a word she clicked the phone shut and dropped it on the night stand.

"How did you do that?" She asked in a whisper.

I felt the corner of my lips twitch into a smile. "I'm a good climber." I answered truthfully.

"Do you... do that a lot?" Her voice a little higher but still hard to hear without enhanced senses. I promised myself that I would answer all her questions honestly and trust what Alice had told me. Putting my faith in the belief that Bella would handle this conversation well and would not expose my family for what we were.

"Only when you're sleeping. I try hard not to wake you."

To my surprise she smiled. "I knew I wasn't dreaming." My mind flashed to the night that she almost caught me and I smiled too.

"Bella," I began, crossing the room and sitting gingerly on the edge of her bed. "I need you to listen to me closely because what I'm about to tell you is very important. And it's very important that you do exactly what I say."

She leaned towards me and looked me directly in the eyes. "Are you going to tell me the truth?"

"Yes."

"The real truth?"

"The full, honest truth." I promised. I bit of anxiety rippled through my chest as she studied me for any sign of deception.

"Can I ask you questions if I don't understand?" I nodded and she smiled again. It was a beautiful sight but one that put me on edge.

"Let me start by saying that I care for you a great deal. I may not be the best at showing my affections but it is the truth. I don't know how this happened but you must believe me when I tell you that you're the most important person on the planet to me." Her face was flushed and she repeatedly looked down at herself to check her attire. I smiled crookedly at her which only made her flush more. I thought she looked adorable in her comfy t shirt and sweat pants combo. Her hair in a disheveled bun.

"That's unexpected." She mumbled. "I sort of thought that you hated me."

"I did a good job convincing you of that, didn't I?" She nodded and dropped my gaze. I reached out for her hand and heard her gasp at the sensation of my cool marble fingers cupping her palm. "I lied." I promised her. "I needed you to stay away so that I couldn't hurt you."

"You'd never hurt me." The confidence in her voice was touching and I really wished I deserved it. I shook my head sadly.

"On the contrary. I'm the most dangerous thing you've ever met. I pose more of a threat to you then any human on this earth combined." The v popped onto her forehead as she tried to process my statement.

"How is that possible?" She challenged.

I inched my way closer to her on the bed and she leaned closer to me. "It took every ounce of strength and willpower in my being not to murder you in a class full of witnesses. I pictured it in my head. I planned and I plotted. I came here the first night not to watch you sleep but to kill you. To unleash the monster and let him have his way with you. You're scent drives me crazy. When I smell it everything that was ever human in me is forgotten."

"Why then? Why haven't you killed me? I'm right here. No witnesses." She didn't know what she was saying and I shook my head at her defiance. I couldn't believe that after my confession she still had the presence of mind to speak. Nevertheless, it was a fair question I pondered it for a minute or two before giving her hand a light squeeze.

"I have feelings for you. And those feelings will not allow me to harm you. But I must be careful. We must always be careful."

"Who are you, Edward? Really?" Ahh, straight to final Jeopardy.

I swallowed at the lump that suddenly formed in my throat and decided to start from the beginning. "Before I begin I need to stress to you that by doing this I'm breaking the most important rule of my kind by telling an outsider. If anyone were to find out that you know any of this you and I both would be destroyed."

Shock flitted across her face but she smothered it quickly. "I wasn't going to tell anybody."

"I know. But it's more then that. You can't act differently around me or show any fear. You need to go on living as if I never told you."

She nodded again and this time I was sure that she understood the severity of the situation. "Bella, I was born Edward Anthony Masen on June 20th, 1901 in the city of Chicago. In 1918 I came down with Spanish Influenza. I met a brilliant doctor named Carlisle Cullen who tried desperately to save my life. We became friends and in the end when he could not save me he could not bare to let me go. So one night, as I struggled to take my final breaths he leaned over me. He opened his mouth and he bit me."

I expected her to pull her hand out of mine and demand that I leave. But she didn't. Instead she sat in rapt attention "He bit you?" She asked, her eyes wide.

"Yes."

"So, what? You're a vampire?"

I fought the urge to flee as I nodded my head. "Yes." I confessed. "I am a vampire."

"And your family?"

"All vampires." She sat back against the headboard of her bed and stared blankly at the patterns of her comforter.

"Being a vampire makes you fast and strong, doesn't it? That's why you were able to save me."

"Yes. I've put you in an awful position, Bella. I messed up and exposed myself to you and now my family is angry. Mostly their issue is with me for losing my head. But they're also concerned about your involvement. They fear that you will ask questions and bring suspicions onto us."

She snapped her head up. The determination was back again. "I told you, I wasn't going to tell."

"_I_ know that. And so does Alice. We argued in your favor but Rosalie and Jasper wouldn't budge. In the end we made a compromise. If you can prove that you're not a threat to us then they won't kill you."

"Should I talk to them? Promise them that I mean no harm?"

Panic washed through me. "No! God no! They can't know that you know about us. I only told you so that you'd stop asking questions and prove to them that you're not dangerous."

"How do I do that if I can't talk to them?"

"You have to let yourself fade into the background. You have to pretend that the van incident was no big deal and convince everyone else that my saving you was a coincidence. Tell them that you and I were standing together talking and I knocked you out of the way."

"I can do that." She agreed.

"You and I need to put some distance between each other." This really upset her. She balled her hands into frustrated fists and shook her head adamantly.

"But you just said you liked me!" She wailed.

"And I do." It was so much more then that.

"Well, I like you too." I smiled at her confession and felt my spirits lift. "I don't want to lose you."

I let go of her hand and brushed her flushed cheek with my fingertips. "It's just for a little while. As soon as the danger has passed we can spend all the time together that we want." She smiled shyly and nibbled at her lower lip.

"Thank you." She said. "Thank you so much for trusting me with the truth. I promise you won't regret it."

"I know I won't"

"I have so many questions."

"I know that, too." My eyes came to rest on the digital clock in the far corner and I sighed. "But right now it's time for you to get your rest."

"Please, don't go." She whimpered.

"I have to." I rose from the bed and stepped towards the window. The disappointment shaded her creamy complexion and I was overcome with the urge to go to her and smother her with kisses. "It's only for a little while. I promise." And with that, I bolted out the window.


	3. Stolen Moments

**{3. Stolen Moments}**

{Edward}

The minute my car pulled into the parking lot I surveyed the landscape for any sign of damage. There was a lot of commotion. Student after student came up to Bella wanting to hear the story in her own words. Time after time she told them the story that we agreed upon. As the day began and things calmed I wore a proud inward smile. My girl was playing her part and she was playing it well.

The first two hours passed at an insanely slow pace. Oscillating between monitoring Bella and keeping up with the inane prattling of the teachers wasn't much of a challenge. I caught my first actual glimpse of my girl during the passing period between second and third hour. A full three minutes that happened to put us in the same hallway at the same time. I slowed my pace as I approached her and made extra sure that my family was nowhere around. She was muttering at her locker, trying in vain to get the combination lock to open. Leaning against the locker next to hers was the insufferable Mike Newton.

"So, do you want to go?" He was asking her although it was obvious that she wasn't paying attention.

She slammed an open palm against the metal door and turned to him. "Huh? I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

Mike swallowed hard. "Do you want to go to Prom with me?" He asked. Prom. I had forgotten all about it. Annoyance and anger battled for dominance in my brain as I stopped completely in the middle of the hall. I saw Bella's eyes flit over to me and back to Mike's expectant face. Not wanting to be noticed by the male end of the conversation I turned to a locker near me and fiddled with the lock as if it were mine. Hoping that the real owner wouldn't show up and ruin my chance to ease drop. Flicking my eyes over at Bella I waited for her answer. I told myself I wouldn't get upset if she said yes. True, I told her I had feelings for her. True, she reciprocated. But I hadn't exactly staked my claim yet either. She technically still wasn't mine.

"Mike," she started and I could hear the rejection in her voice already. "I'm not really a Prom kind of girl. I'm way too uncoordinated for dancing and I don't really like being the center of attention. So I'm going to have to say no. I'm not going to the Prom at all." Newton hung his head and pushed away from the locker. Relief washed over me like a cleansing rain as I watched him begin to walk away. "Mike." She called after him and for a second panic seized me. Did I mention I hated not being able to read her mind? "You should ask Jessica. She really likes you." Another cleansing bath of relief.

As Mike made a dejected exit down to his next class Bella checked the hall twice before marching up to me. "I thought we were putting distance between each other." Her face was hard and serious but her eyes were all jest. I smiled shyly. It's not often that I get caught peeping.

"I thought you would have learned your locker combination by now."

She flushed pink before rolling her eyes. "Don't change the subject." She watched as I continually fiddled with the lock of the metal door. "You can stop now. I know that's not your locker." With a final twist I yanked on the handle and the locker swung open to greet me.

"Ah ha!" I trumpeted triumphantly. "For a minute it was mocking me."

Her eyes grew wide and panicked. "Edward!" She scolded. "Close that now! It's not yours!" I closed the door and scanned the thoughts of my siblings. Nobody was within earshot and nobodies thoughts were even about me. Bella and I had a moment of stolen togetherness and I wasn't going to waste it.

"I'm glad you told him no." She blushed again and I let my fingertips gently touch the ruby colored skin of her cheek.

"I would have told him no even if I could dance. Which I can't."

"Would you have said no if I had asked you?"

She shuffled her feet and looked down at the floor. "No. But I probably would have stood you up. I really can't dance."

The bell rang and we both sighed. I was so torn. I wanted to hug her. To kiss her. To show her in some fashion that she meant the world to me. Instead we nodded an uncomfortable goodbye before taking off in opposite directions.

-{}-

{Edward}

I couldn't help myself. I promised I wouldn't. That it was too dangerous. But as midnight descended on the small town of Forks I found myself sprinting through the woods in the direction of the Swan house. My senses were on high alert in case someone followed me. I doubted they would. When I checked in on everyone they were all enjoying the company of their lovers in very biblical fashions. Still I could not be too sure or too careful.

The last thing I needed was for Jasper or Rosalie to discover me sneaking around with Bella. It's bad enough I had exposed myself to her but if they knew that Bella knew the family secret then the chaos that would ensue would be staggering. On one hand it seemed silly. Alice had told them that Bella and I were mates. So the Hale twins should assume that A) Bella and I would be spending significant time together and B) that Bella would learn my secrets. But Jasper was scared and Rosalie was petty and jealous. Those things seemed to trump all logic and reason. In the end the only thing I could do was hope that Alice would be able to pacify her husband and that Rose would cave into peer pressure. I had to believe that things would work out. They just had to.

The Swan house came into view and I took care to slow my pace and make as little noise as possible. In one swift motion I was up the tree. It wasn't until I reached out for the glass that I realized that she had left the window open. A warm feeling swept through my body at the invitation. Still as I slipped through her window I couldn't help but feel uneasy. It was wrong to be here without her knowledge. It was wrong to steal her privacy. But I just couldn't stay away. I just couldn't help myself. I was in love and I needed to be with her even if she wasn't conscience of it.

Bella lay on her back. Her legs curled to one side. Her purple comforter tangled around the limbs of her body. "Edward..." She whispered in the serenity of sleep.

My legs moved without my permission. I found myself standing not at the foot of her bed like usual but right beside her. My body casting a shadow over her sleeping form. I watched in amazement as the V popped onto her forehead and she mumbled my name again. This time I leaned over so that one hand pressed into the mattress beside her and the other hand softly traced the edges of her face. She smiled up at me softly and released a contented sigh.

I didn't stop there. I couldn't. My head had lost the battle with my heart. The result was me giving up all control. Allowing myself to slightly pull back the covers and slip into bed with her. Once I had her body wrapped securely in my arms I knew I had found my place in a world that no longer made sense to me. I would spend forever and eternity with my arms encircling the small body of this breakable girl. I would protect her at all costs. Defend her against anyone. Including my siblings.

I brushed my lips against her warm cheek and I felt her snuggle back against me. "I love you." She murmured.

Smiling against her flesh I whispered in her ear, "I love you too. You have no idea how much."

I was really starting to enjoy myself when a set of heavy footsteps invaded the quiet intimacy. In a flash I was moving towards the window. In that same second Bella's heartbeat and breathing changed and I knew she was awake.

"What the..." She muttered as her door swung open. I sat perfectly still on the branch below her window as Charlie Swan staggered into the room half asleep.

"The Pharmacy just got broken into." He explained. "Gotta go to work."

"Oh, okay, dad." I heard her mumble. When I heard his footsteps retreat I shimmied down the truck of the tree and made a dash for the dark forest. "Edward," I heard her whisper. I turned to see her standing at her window surveying the night landscape. "I know you're out there." There was certain level of sadness in her voice and it took all the willpower I had left to run for my house.


	4. Tread Carefully

**{4. Tread Carefully }**

{Edward}

My fingers flew over the keys creating a melody I knew all too well. A melody that both calmed and excited me. Made me sad yet happy to exist. Her lullaby. Sad and slow yet light and hopeful. I knew it by heart. Played it continually. It still resounded in me like it was the first time.

The final note hung in the air and I let my hands rest for the first time since I'd gotten home. It hadn't taken long. I sprinted through the trees as fast as my legs could carry me. The combination of the sadness in her voice and the memory of her warm body pressed against mine threatened to drive me the other way. To a house that was empty of her watchful father. Away from my disapproving family. Every time I thought of turning around I pushed my feet ahead faster.

It took two minutes for me to run home.

And now as I sat on the stool of my silent piano I'm mentally chiding myself for not going back. I should have. I wanted to. I shouldn't have left her alone and confused. I should have stuck to my original plan and spent the night guarding her house from the thick cover of trees surrounding it. Instead I had acted selfishly. I had pushed my luck and I'd lost.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't heard her small feet pad down the stairs. I turned to meet her gaze. Grateful for the sympathy and understanding I found within it.

Scooting over, I made room for her on the bench which she sat on with a small smile.

"It is." I answered. My fingers tapping a few stray keys.

"I remember what it was like with Jasper." She mused while joining my notes with a few of her own. "I saw him all the time in my head. I knew him so well. The soft drawl of his voice. The masculine curl of his hair. The smoothness of his skin. Yet I couldn't do anything about it. I just had to wait and have faith that fate would lead him to me. Which it did. Thankfully." It's easy to forget, even for me, that Alice's gift can at times be a burden to her.

"How did you get through it, Alice? How did you see him, feel him, smell him all the time and keep from going mad?"

"It was different for me then it is for you. I knew that things would work out. I could see it, and I wrapped myself in the warmth of that knowledge. You're working blind. Your gift is useless with her. It's harder for you then it was for me."

"I can't do this forever." I warned. She stopped tapping at the ivories and looked me square in the face.

"You won't have to."

"Because Jasper plans on killing my love." I grumbled.

"No." She corrected, a sharp edge to her voice. "Because fate has other plans. I told you, you're destined to be together. Tread carefully and everything else will fall into place."

I tried to feel reassured but instead I felt even more alone and empty. Without saying another word I started her melody from the beginning. Alice slipping back up the stairs to her waiting husband.

-{}-

{Bella}

"Saturday. Port Angeles. I'm not taking no for an answer." Jessica rattled off as soon as I sat down in home room. I set my books on my desk and hesitantly sat down.

"Port Angeles?"

She looked at me like I had five heads. "Dress shopping, hello! Prom is coming up and if we don't get there soon all the good dresses will be gone." Prom. Right. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't escape it. So far I'd had three invitations. All of them from boys who were nice enough but not the man I wanted. After I rejected Mike he followed my advice and asked Jessica. Which was good because the last thing I needed was for her get all jealous and bitchy. I already had that problem with Lauren who hated the idea of Tyler spending any amount of time thinking about me. She'd be livid if she knew that he was my third rejection.

"So, who are you taking, Bella?" Angela asked innocently. Jessica and a few neighboring girls turned to hear my answer. I swallowed at the dryness in my throat.

"Nobody." I answered as confidently as I could. Angela and Jessica exchanged a glance.

"You don't have a date?" Angela's eyes were a mixture of sympathy and regret for bringing up the subject.

"I'm not going." I stated. "I don't like dances." The girls who were ease dropping decided that this was not the juicy gossip they were hoping for and turned back to their studies.

"But it's _Prom_." Jessica sputtered. "It's the biggest event of the school year." I didn't respond. "Fine. Don't go. But mark my words you'll regret it later."

"You'll still go dress shopping though, right? I really need your opinion." Angela whined. I nodded my head. It was the least I could do for my friends and to be quite honest I could use the distraction. After last night my insides were all twisted and jittery. I was sure I wasn't dreaming. The memories were too vivid. His arms around me holding me tight. His sweet words. His kiss. The electricity that went through my body was indescribable. In my mind I could feel my body melting into his. The sensation was overwhelming and at times I struggled to keep it contained.

-{}-

{Bella}

I walked into lunch determined not to spend the whole time staring at the Cullen table. What was the first thing I did when I walked in? That's right. I looked right at them but did not see Edward. I tried to smother the forlorn look of dismay before it was noticed but when I looked to my left the smile on Angela's face told the whole story. She nodded her head towards the front of the line. Standing ten or so students ahead of us was an unmistakable crop of unruly red hair. Without hesitation I felt myself relax. He was here. He was here and I could see him and I knew he loved me. It wasn't a dream. It couldn't have been.

"Wow," I heard Angela sigh. "You really do have it bad."

My jaw popped open. "Angela,"

She waved her hand dismissively. "It's cool." She assured me. "I know that you don't want anyone to know about it." Her and I took a lunch tray and began to absentmindedly fill it with food. "I can't really say that I blame you. People would totally freak if they knew."

"It's more complicated then that." I felt my stomach churn. I knew that this was wrong. That Edward and I were supposed to be a secret until his brother calmed down or whatever. But dammit it felt wonderful to know that someone else understood at least half the anguish I was going through.

We went to sit at our usual table only to find it full. During the last few weeks several of our friends had coupled up and the usual seats had been taken by their new partners. So instead we sat at an abandoned table in the back. One that happened to be right across from the now fully occupied Cullen table.

I could feel multiple eyes study me as I attempted to gracefully and casually walk over to my new table. I tried not to think about the fact that one of those pairs of eyes had marked me for dead. "His family doesn't like you, do they?"

I stared at her blankly. I thought Alice was the psychic. "uhh..." I couldn't seem to manage words. My eyes darted to the table across from us and were greeted by Edward's expectant gaze. He was listening.

Angela read the look on my face and immediately changed the subject.

-{}-

{Bella}

As soon as I saw him in biology I broke into a huge blush. Being late to finish lunch I was the last student to arrive to class. Paranoia flooded my body as I walked to my chair. In my mind they all knew. If Angela had figured it out then what was to stop an of them? They knew about me and Edward. They knew why we had to be secretive. Their eyes were following me. Waiting for me to screw up. To be totally honest I wasn't sure I could handle spending an hour with him in such close proximity without giving anything away. It didn't help that he was watching me out of his peripheral vision the whole time I walked. Or that when I sat down he deliberately took in a long slow whiff of my scent.

I tried to keep my breathing steady and my heart beat even. I could tell by the smile tugging on the corners of his mouth that I was failing.

Thankfully, it was a movie day. Some stupid lesson on gene mutation that I'd already done in Phoenix. The lights went dim and I pulled out my notebook under the pretense that I was taking notes. Which I was, but it wasn't about the lesson. Instead I scrawled out a sloppy note and pushed the notebook towards Edward. From what I'd read of Vampires I knew that they had enhanced senses so I hoped he would be able to read it in the dark. He looked sideways at me and elegantly penned a reply.

I squinted my eyes in the dark and read his old fashioned script. I had written to him that I knew he was at my house last night. His reply was _'Are you angry?'_

'_No._' I wrote back. '_I enjoyed it._'

I saw him smile a crooked smile at my words before he wrote. '_So did I._'

'_You told me you loved me._' I wrote with a hopeful smile.

To my dismay he frowned slightly. '_You were awake for that?_'

'_Barely_.' I scribbled. Then in a flicker of sadness, '_did you mean it?_'

He furrowed his brow and his smile disappeared. '_Of course. I just hoped to tell you in a different way_. _I have so much to tell you._'

'_You were listening to Angela and I._'

'_Yes. She knows?_'

'_Yes. Are you mad?_' It was my turn to ask.

He seemed to think about his response for a minute before penning a reply. '_It makes things complicated.'_

'_I know. But it feels good to have someone who understands. Like you have with Alic..._' Edward dove for the notebook before Mr. Banner could snatch it off the table but his forced human speed was just too slow. My bottom lip was instantly in my mouth and even with a few feet between us I could feel Edward go stiff. The whole class turned to watch Mr. Banner flip through my notebook and shake his head. I prayed that he wouldn't read it out loud. "I expected better from both of you. I'll see you both after school to make up this class." Edward nodded silently. I continued to chew on my lip. The rest of the class was spent with my eyes glued forward.


	5. It Overrides Everything

**-{5. It Overrides Everything}**

{Edward}

It was the first detention I'd ever gotten in any of my high school careers. And I must say, I found it rather amusing. I'd often watched pubescent slackers get punished with the threat of detention and wondered what it was all about. Most of my assumptions were right.

Mr. Banner had us sit on opposite ends of the room. He gave us a piece of paper and a pencil and assigned us a one thousand word essay on the importance of listening skills. If I could have used the full scope of my skills I could have banged it out in seconds. But there I sat, slowly plugging away at basic human speed on a subject so juvenile it made my brain hurt. My true love across from me furiously banging out a marvelous piece of work that would probably end up in the trash. Blaming herself for slipping up. Planning, no doubt, what to say to Charlie. The whole thing was just so preposterous I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. A few times I snorted in spite of myself and had to disguise it as a cough.

Thankfully it didn't last long. Both Bella and I completed an acceptable essay within forty five minutes and were set free.

As we walked down the hallway I took her hand in mine. Marveling once again as scarlet colored the skin of her neck. Her pulse quickening to a delicious rhythm. She peeked at me sideways and smiled. It was beautiful. Once we pushed the final door open, stepping into the murky gloom of your typical afternoon in Forks I could stand the temptation no longer. I stopped walking. She stumbled with the loss of movement and I steadied her before pulling her close to my chest. She gasped at first but as my lips took hers she melted into my embrace like soft chocolate coating a hard almond. We stood there for what felt like hours. Not blinking, not breathing, just wrapped into each other.

Finally I felt her wobble and I knew that she needed oxygen so I pulled away unwillingly. She stared at me in disbelief. Her breathing uneven. Her heart flustered. Then, for some reason her eyes dropped to the sidewalk and she blushed again.

"That was... nice." She mumbled.

"Nice?" I repeated. "That wasn't what I was going for, but okay."

She began to fidget with her fingers. "It was good. I liked it."

"Good. Because I plan on doing it more often." I flashed what I hoped was a soothing smile but she did not see it. Her eyes were still on the pavement. I lifted her chin with my fingers so that I could look her deep in the eye. "Bella, I need you to know that you mean everything to me."

"Edward," She said shyly. "Are we like... dating? Like are you my boyfriend now?"

"Do you want me to be your boyfriend?"

"I was hoping..." I didn't let her continue her sentence. Instead I leaned down and captured her lips again. This one was shorter but much sweeter. It was a promise of things to come. It was the start of something new.

"We have an hour. An hour and a half maybe before my family comes looking for me. I vote we make the best of it." She nodded up at me. The same sense of bewilderment in her eyes. "What?"

"I just... I'm having trouble keeping up with you."

My frown sent her eyes to the pavement again. "What do you mean?"

"Like you say we need to be separate until your brother and sister calm down yet you sneak into my room, watch me in school, kiss me..."

"Bella, I love you. Just because things are difficult right now doesn't mean I can just turn it off."

The v popped into her forehead. "Turn what off?"

"Instinct." I answered. "It's what I was saying before. I have many things I want to talk to you about. That's one of then. I don't think you quite understand the bond I have with you."

"You think you like me more then I like you." She accused.

"No. I mean, yes. I mean..." I sighed heavy and tried to pull my thoughts together. "Can we not do this here? At school? I had envisioned this being much more romantic." She nodded although her face seemed uncertain. I grasped her hand in mine and together we made our way to my car.

The ride was spent in companionable silence. One of my hands guiding the steering wheel, the other resting respectfully on Bella's knee. She spent her time alternating between staring out the window and playing with my fingers. I loved the sensation of her flesh touching mine and I inwardly groaned each time the connection was broken.

"Where are we?" She mused as I pulled my Volvo into the dirt parking area of one of the local hiking trails.

"We aren't quite there yet." I corrected before swiftly getting out of the car. In a flash I was by her door, holding it open as she gingerly got out. I held my hand out to her and she took it without hesitation. "When I planned on taking you here I imagined us hiking together. But since time is of the essence I believe a swifter mode of travel is in order."

"Don't tell me you fly." She said dryly but in her eyes there was a hint of sincerity.

I snorted. "No. I don't fly. I run."

"Run? We're running? Edward, I can hardly walk without falling down."

This time I let out a hardy laugh. Bella's face flushed. I couldn't resist the temptation to brush my lips over the scarlet hue of her cheeks. This only served to make the blush grow deeper. "No silly. I'm running. You're hitching a ride."

She opened her mouth to question me but before she could she was already on my back. My feet whizzing over the earth at impossible speed. I could hear her heart hammering in her chest and her breath coming in short gasps.

We arrived at our destination in no time. I loosened my grip on Bella who literally fell off my back and onto the soft mushy earth. "uhh.." She groaned. "I should have closed my eyes."

"Motion sickness?" I guessed squatting next to her limp body.

"A little. Give me a moment okay?" I did as she asked. Moving to the center of the meadow and laying flat on my back in the lush grass. The flowers weren't quite in bloom yet nonetheless it was still a beautiful place. A special one. One I was glad to share with my beloved.

Bella followed my lead and plopped down next to me in the tall grass. For a while we just lay there lost in our thoughts. Staring up at the gray sky that covered this part of Washington for most of the year. "Peaceful." She finally mused. Her head turning so she could watch me.

"It's my special place. I come here to be rid of the rest of the world. To tune it all out."

"Then why did you bring me?" She asked quietly.

"I don't want to be rid of you. Ever. I want you with me always." I turned my focus from the gloomy sky to her warm brown eyes and sighed. "Besides, I don't have to tune you out. Nature has taken care of that for me."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't understand."

"I know. And I'm going to explain. But first I need to reiterate that what I'm about to tell you is a closely guarded secret. It's not to be shared."

At first she was insulted. I could see it cross her face. Then understanding kicked in and she softened again. "I wasn't going to tell Angela any of that. It's just nice to have a friend to talk to about... well... you know." I feigned ignorance just to see the blush color her cheeks. "You know.." She stuttered. "Boyfriend stuff." I smiled bright and she smiled back.

"Angela's a good friend. She thinks highly of you. I'm glad you talk to her about boyfriend stuff and not Jessica." I loved the thought of that word being a reference to me. I was Bella Swan's boyfriend and I loved it. Love, love, loved it!

"Why not Jessica?"

I frowned at the thought of that petty girl. "Her thoughts are mean spirited."

"How do you... wait, you read minds? Oh my God are you reading mine? I'm so embarrassed!"

I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud. "Yes." I answered when I was done. "I do read minds. But sadly, I'm unable to read yours. It's ironic really. The one person in the whole world I want to read, and I can't."

This did not placate her. "Are you lying to make me feel better?"

"I swear I'm not." I put my hand over my none beating heart. "And don't worry about the rest of the family because I'm the only one who can do it. Although Alice can read the future and Jasper can control peoples emotions."

"Wait, Alice can read the future?"

"Yes."

"Does she tell you about it?"

"It's kind of hard for her not to. You know, the whole mind reader thing."

"Right." Her thoughts swept her up, carrying her someplace far away. I desperately wanted to join her.

"What is it?" I murmured.

"Does Alice ever see _our_ future?" Ah, the heart of the matter.

"Sometimes."

"Is it... good? I mean, does she see us having a normal relationship? Like in public?"

I took the questions one at a time. "The future is always changing." I explained. "Every minute action a person does shapes his future. So what she sees one minute can always change the next based on the decisions that a person makes."

"I see." She seemed unsatisfied by my explanation so I scooted over and cupped her chin in my hand. My lips sought hers and we exchanged a slow smoldering kiss.

"Bella," I said softly when we were done. "Alice has seen our future many times. When she first saw you enter my life it was a matter of if I would accept what fate has given me. Whether I would welcome you or not. Now that I've given you my heart it's your turn to decide."

"I've already decided that." She stated firmly. "I'm in love with you and nothing is going to change that. Not your scary siblings. Nothing."

I smiled at her stern demeanor. "I know you love me, but it's not an easy thing to be someone's mate. It tends to override all other aspects of your life. Like when you were going to be hit by the van. I don't know what happened. I didn't even think. I didn't choose to save you. It was a reflex, like breathing or blinking. Don't you see? The bond I have with you is so strong that it over road all other instincts. Even my instinct to hide."

"You have that power over me too, you know. Let's face it, Edward, I'm your food. I should fear you. I should cringe when you sit near me like all the other kids at school. But I don't. My bond to you is so strong that it overrides my instinct to run."

"That doesn't scare you? Not at all."

She shook her head. "No. I want to be bonded to you. That's all I've ever wanted. I'm glad I'm your mate."

"It scares me." I admitted sheepishly. I've never been so... intimate with another person before." I thought she was going to kiss me but instead she pulled my torso close and embraced me in a warm hug. The simplicity and kindness in that one little gesture touched me deep in my core. I took in a deep gulp of her scent. The sweet burn creating a wonderful mix of pleasure and pain.


	6. Breaking Point

**-{6. Breaking Point }-**

{Bella}

The next day brilliant sunshine spread over the town and while my friends were busy making plans to enjoy it I was never more depressed in my life. Poor Angela had to watch me sulk during the day and listen to me babble on the phone all night. She now knew everything that I was allowed to share. Which made my misery at least livable.

A part of me, a big part, knew that I was being pathetic. That my happiness shouldn't hinge on seeing a guy. Even one as handsome as Edward. But it did. I needed him like a drug. And after the kissing and touching we did in the meadow I was certain he needed me that way too.

Finally after two days the sun resigned itself to its fate and disappeared behind the clouds. Finally I was at peace. I saw him pull into his parking spot and my heart lurched into my throat. Full with the knowledge that fate had chosen us to be together. That I was not just some silly little girl with a crush. That this was real and he was mine. And if I could somehow make it through the next weeks my reward would be to walk arm in arm around school with the greatest man in the world.

Time ticked by so slowly I wanted to scream. Mike tried to flirt. Jessica tried to gossip. But I would have none of it. I was a horse with blinders on. Galloping wildly through the day. Desperate for a time when I could make even the briefest of contact with him.

Lunch. I just had to get through lunch then I had biology. A full hours worth of an excuse to be near him. I mindlessly got my food and sat down at the table. My eyes fixated on the door. Waiting for that moment when my world would start spinning once again.

They came gliding out of the murky weather and into the bustling cafeteria just like they did every day.

First came Rosalie, tall and blonde, curves to die for. Hand in hand with Emmett, big and burly with dark colored features. Then Alice, the spiky haired pixie. Followed by her lover Jasper, who always seemed to be in perpetual pain.

Then there he was.

Tall and lankier then his big brother but strong and well defined now the less. With copper hair and eyes the color of warm honey. Skin like powdered snow.

My heart skidded to a stop in my chest.

As the family sat down at their usual table I tried not to draw attention to myself. But the air around me started to feel much too warm even though it was a dank, cool day outside. My posture stiffened and my breathing became erratic. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe being so near him without being able to be _near_ him was counterproductive. My eyes shot mayday signals to Angela who watched me carefully as I struggled to maintain control. She smiled at me warily. Her eyes full of sympathy. Everyone else was oblivious.

I felt his eyes on me. I didn't need to watch Angela's gaze meet his to know that he was looking. Probably peeking out of his peripheral vision. Every cell in my body was acutely aware of him. Attuned to the most subtle of his movements.

"I'm never going to make it through biology." I muttered to Angela. Fully accepting the fact that yes, this was a very bad idea. Maybe I could convince Charlie to send me back to Renee for a few weeks?

"Go to the nurse." Angela suggested.

"And say what? That I'm going crazy?" I hissed. She shrugged and I again focused on keeping my breathing steady. The longer I sat there the more I could feel the anger bubble to the surface. I tried hard to force it down. I knew that Jasper would sense it and wonder why. But I was screaming inside. In my mind I envisioned myself lurching upwards forcing my chair to topple backwards with a metallic clang. I saw myself turning and facing Edward. Strolling over to the table where his self righteous siblings sat and right in front of their judgmental faces pulling him in for a long smoldering kiss.

I forced myself to take a bite of my veggie plate and swallow it down. The food felt like wax sloshing in my queasy stomach. This was stupid. This whole thing was absolutely stupid.

Panic spread across Angela's face as I rose to my feet. I did not pick up my tray. I did not say anything to anybody. And to my total surprise I did not turn to face him. Instead I forced my feet to propel me forward and around my table full of friends who were all staring at me. I stared straight forward as I walked through the cafeteria door and into the gloomy autumn day. When I reached the parking lot I passed my truck and kept going until I hit the forest boundary. Then I breached it.

-{}-

{Edward}

As the pressure built inside of me I struggled to maintain my facade of lethargic apathy. All the noise in the room seemed to rise up against me in rebellion. Blaring my ears until I couldn't decipher the words of my classmates from the words of my siblings. The smells in the room played similar tricks. Blending and melding together to create one thick perfume of human stench. In a word, I was going crazy.

I shot a glance in Bella's direction but it was Angela's eyes who met mine. I could see the worry burning bright in the chocolate depths. Even if I was too distracted to hone in on her thoughts.

Then like that, it was over.

Bella rose from her chair. Her back stiff, her head locked forward. Like the rest of the cafeteria I watched her abandon her tray of untouched vittles and stumble blindly towards the outside door. Her table went quiet. Mike and Angela each individually entertained the notion of going after her but decided against it.

Emmett cleared his throat abruptly and I looked up to realize that the eyes of my siblings all rested on me. Everyone wanted to know the same thing. Was I going to go after her. Alice was begging me. Showing me bits and clips of a future based on that decision. Emmett was giving me quiet permission. Rosalie was taunting me. Daring me to go against my family and go after "the smelly human". Jasper was in a hold pattern. He wasn't positive or negative. Just waiting.

It was the moment of truth.

Without a word, I rose and followed my beloved. I heard Rosalie's hiss of displeasure mix with Alice's giddy thoughts as I struggled to maintain a basic human speed. Mike Newton cursed me out and Angela applauded me.

It was over. I had taken my stand. Consequences be damned.

As soon as I was out of sight, I started to run.

-{}-

{Bella}

The forest floor was wet and slushy as I trudged through it. Low branches of bare trees poked out at me from all directions. The evergreen's blocked much of the sun's already depleted power from filtering through the canopy.

I walked until I lost all track of time and place. I walked until the burn I felt inside lessened. If only slightly. I walked until strong hands grabbed my shoulders from behind and spun me around until I was face to face with their owner. Until I was face to face with him.

I hadn't heard his footsteps or the branches bending and swaying behind me but honestly that was no surprise. When you were as stealthy and agile and all around perfect as he was you didn't need to go stumbling through life.

His hands moved from my shoulders to my cheeks as he forced my face forward to receive a devastating kiss. My knees buckled but he held me firm. At the exact second that the need for air became an issue he broke our kiss and looked me dead in the eye.

"What are you _doing_?" He demanded, our faces so close that the tips of our noses rubbed again each other.

"Walking." I answered calmly.

"I can see that, but why?"

My lower lip disappeared into my mouth as I gnawed at it. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "But I don't think I can do this anymore. I was thinking... maybe I can go away for a while. Go visit Renee. She'd like that and it would give Jasper and Rosalie a chance to cool down. Give everything around here a chance to settle."

His face dropped. "You're leaving me?" The sadness in his voice was stunning. I had hard to keep from sobbing.

"I don't want to." I whispered. My voice shaking a little. "It's the last thing I want. But it's just so hard to keep pretending that you don't mean the world to me. Every time we're in the same room together I just want to go to you and hold you close. It's like a craving that just keeps getting worse."

He rested his hand over his heart. "I feel it too." He pulled me in for a hug and I went into his arms willingly. "Please don't leave me." He murmured into my ear. "It's almost over. They saw me leave to go after you. They'll know everything soon enough. Just a few more days. I'll do anything. Say anything. I just couldn't bare it if you went."

Before I knew what was happening tears tumbled out of my eyes. "I hated it when you were gone." I sobbed. "I felt like I was dying. Like I wanted to die and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I don't want to have to hide my love for you anymore."

"I know." He whispered. "I'll fix this. I promise. This has gone on long enough." He held me close to his chest as I wept my frustration out onto his shirt. Soft words flowed from his mouth into my ears which only served to make things worse. Why did he have to be so wonderful? Why did he have to make my knees weak and my heart flutter? Why did his scent, his voice, his touch have to drive my senses crazy?

Being here with him like this made me want to throw my arms up and scream to the world that I loved Edward Cullen. That I loved him and he loved me and nothing was going to change that. Screw the consequences. So what if Rosalie and Jasper wanted to kill me for knowing too much. So what if the man I was declaring my love for was in fact a vampire and therefore the most lethal thing on the planet. So what. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted the game to stop. The charade to end. I wanted everyone to know about my secret boyfriend.


End file.
